Kiss In The Rain

The “Right Here,” was discovered after the storm, tossed onto a rock outcropping, with no trace of its owner anywhere. :arrow: "Right Here" is italicized. :arrow: "... tossed into a ...

Hiya, I'm back. :) On to the reading and the editing! joyful, “Hello?” Aww, first sentence this time! "hello?"! Dr. Grigori, Alfred’s personal physician, “What happens to be the occasion.” ...

:D I'm back again! I swear, this chapter wasn't as grammar-challenged. *laughs*. Sorry, I'm just trying to keep it light. Anyway, very nice, very nice. You might consider adding some ...

So, I'm editing as I go along. NitPicks Alfred Tishman sat at his piano. He sat at his piano and stared at it, just like he did every day at ...

“It matches with your eyes,” he whispered. I would omit the "with" The gold dress has given her is Add a "he" before has and whether that the laughter that ...

:( Poor Fat Boy. His mom is a jerk. :(

What is with his mom?? The least she could do is confront Fat Boy about his weight instead of embarrasing him about it! Other than that, nice job, as always. ...

Awww, poor Fat Boy! I'm allergic to Penicillin; I couldn't imagine being allergic to mushrooms--- not that I like them myself, but I'm sure they are in a lot of ...

1. Are you getting a feeling for Jason and Sierra's characters? 2. How's the pace? Do I go too quickly/slowly? 1. I think so. I like Sierra's personality. She is ...

That last part should say "Thoughts". :S Sorry.

Hmm, I liked it. I find Jason rather a mysterious guy; and I disagree with Chernobylly. I'm sure he will be an interesting character. I like Sierra. She's a little ...

Hmm, is there more? It's fine the way it is, if it is not. I was just curious. Anyway, yes, gossip is a pretty bad thing. Being the subject is ...

Oh, wow. This is pretty interesting. The first paragraph/prologue/into to this piece is enticingly delicious to the mind. I'd like to find out what it all means. All the grammar ...

Prologue Tacitus backed into a darkened doorway upon the roof of a local building, cloaking himself in shadows. In his position, he could observe the goings on in Market Square ...

___________________ :?: Critique Questions: 1. What do you think so far? Is it moving along? Are you bored? 2. What about the characters so far? 3. I've never had to ...